Creating childhood memories are important. Reflect on your own childhood and ask yourself what do you remember? Do you remember how you felt when you first learned how to ride your bike? Do you remember the joy you felt when mom/dad spent quality time with you? There are so many things you can remember if you dig through your memories.
The developmental stages that children go through as they try to learn and understand the world around them are very delicate. It is wise to understand the importance of making childhood a healthy and positive experience – it has long-term implications for who our children become later on in life. We must protect our children from negative experiences and environments that lead to suffering from developmental trauma in their adult lives. This includes exposure to abuse, domestic violence, neglect and traumatic loss or bereavement.
Consciously creating the best childhood memories with your child is an important first step. You are paving the way for them to have positive identity formation. So today, I’m sharing with you 10 ideas how to create the best childhood memories.
- Create a Memory Jar : A memory jar is a collection of recorded memories made. It’s a time capsule in a sense so your children can reflect back each year and relive the wonderful experiences they had. It reinforces their positive upbringing. Surah and Miraj are too young to write so I can write for them but I ask them, just so they know what I am writing and for them to reflect as well. But if your kids are older, then it’s easier to ask them to write down their memories and put it in the jar themselves. Here is a list of memories to put in the Memory Jar:
– “Miraj learned how to ride his scooter at the age of 2” (Date)
– “Surah learned how to spell her first name” (Date)
– “We went on our very first family vacation – it was on the Holland American Cruise” (Date)
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3878988″] - Be Mindful of Conflict : We all have arguments with our spouses or others around us. Be mindful of what you say and how you say and react in front of the children. You may end up resolving the issue and bring harmony in your relationship(s), but the negative aura that you created during that conflict can have a direct impact on your child. It may build insecurity in them or fear. Try to make a point to keep conflict away from the kids – go to your room or speak about the conflict privately.
- Begin a Keepsake Box: I love this one. A very nice lady once came to visit me when I first had Surah. She is the one who inspired me to create a Keepsake Box. Ever since then, I’ve been collecting keepsakes of every wonderful experience we’ve had together with each child. I refer to mine as their “FIRST BOX” because I’ve started these since birth and Surah and Miraj are still so young so usually it has a memory of something they did for the very first time. I have their first set of diapers, Miraj’s first basketball, Surah’s first hairbrush and so on. I’ve also taken it a little further by putting each item in a zip lock and writing a note about the item and how I felt. I think they will both appreciate this when they turn 20 insh’Allah. Here’s my recommendations of creating their FIRST boxes.
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3878970″] - Quality Time: I will never forget the time when my brother Arash and I were playing soccer together in our school soccer field and my mom surprised us by running toward us out of nowhere. It’s one of my favorite moments I reflect back on because as a 6 year old, I appreciated my mom’s attention and love so much when it was received (especially since I’ve only known one parent all my life). I felt respected and loved – and that is the feeling I want to give Surah and Miraj as often as I can. Spending undivided attention without any distractions – yes that means turning off the TV and putting away your phone. I like to have “tickle time” with them on their beds and end it with cuddles. I like to look straight into their eyes and tell them I love them dearly. I like to come down to their level when they are speaking to me and give them my full attention when they are speaking or explaining something. I like to hold them as much as I can before I can no longer physically carry them – It all means so much to them.
- Make a List of “Memories to Create”: Sometimes we are drained or distracted from our busy schedules. That’s when your list of “Memories to Create” will be a nice reminder to stop and enjoy a special moment with your child. It will gives you ideas when your brain is not thinking and it will be a nice motivating piece to put on your vision board this year.
- Talk and Listen: Communication is key but effective communication is necessary. How you communicate with your children helps them learn ways to express themselves in the future. Being heard boosts their confidence. Imagine as a child, how you felt when you tried to communicate something in the best way you could at that stage and you felt heard. Didn’t it give you a warm cozy feeling inside? And didn’t it give you comfort and confidence – that you, your thoughts and what you say are important. Now imagine if you give this same feeling to your child whenever they try to communicate with you and whenever you communicate with them. Stop what you are doing and directly transfer knowledge directly from your mouth to their ears and from their mouth to your ears.
- Adventures: Schedules are necessary but so are spontaneous adventures. There are things in life that happen beyond our control so in a way, adventurous plans teach your children this important life lesson. It’s okay to stray away from routine and schedule – do something adventurous and fun. These are the kinds of memories children will tell others about when they grow up. When I am overwhelmed with work or just over-booked myself, I like to randomly get the kids ready and head out the door. I have no idea where we are going or what we are doing, we plan as we go but the point is to just get off of schedule and routine to go on an adventurous ride. Sometimes we end up in a Starbucks in Malibu and other times we end up exploring scenic routes down the coast.
- Family Traditions: This is my favorite and only recently have I developed our family traditions. Ever since we moved back to California and settled in our new home – we’ve made a point to create Family Traditions. And my favorite family tradition is attending Friday prayers at our local Masjid. On Fridays, we cut our nails, take our morning showers and wear our best clothes. We head down to the Masjid listening to our usual songs about the Masjid or Friday (here’s a link to our current favorite song by Omar Esa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXna06Hv1GU ). Then after prayers, we head out to Dunkin Donuts to give the kids some sugar!! 🙂 We intentionally limit sweets the entire week so they can value this Friday tradition and the quality time we spend at Dunkin Donuts. - Mom + Dad Dates: I recently read an article about the importance of spending alone time with each child. I always spend time with Surah and Miraj together – it didn’t occur to me that I should in fact spend alone time with each and for Milad (daddy) to do so as well. So I’ve begun scheduling Mom + Dad dates with each child. When I take Surah out to the movies, Milad spends time with Miraj at the playplace, for example. And when I take Miraj out for a scooter ride, Milad takes Surah shopping. It’s important for each child to have a strong bond with each parent – without the other sibling(s) or parent being around. This is great for stronger family dynamics.
- Kid’s Lead Day: How does this sound? Have the kids pick what to do the entire day or most of the day. This is a great way to get the kids to experience control and leadership. It not only gives them the opportunity to be confident but also to make good decisions after making a few bad ones – because trust me, they will lead to a few bad choices. But how great is it to experience bad choices as a family and then reflect on all the reasons it was not a good choice and instead give options of how to improve it next time.
There you have it – 10 great ways to creating the best childhood memories. I hope you enjoyed these – I write straight from the heart and onto the blog. If you have an ideas, please feel free to connect with me on Instagram or add me on Snapchat – I’d love to hear back from my readers!
