Call me a little old-fashioned for this and I’ll gladly take it. In a tech-obsessed world, we are overwhelmingly surrounded by technology like never before. I recognize the countless benefits but there are certain pitfalls we need to be mindful of – especially when it impacts our children.
When I became a mother, I knew I wanted to raise my children like it was the 90’s. I try to be mindful and present in my home for myself and for my family. I try to be involved so my kid’s build a strong relationship with me, Milad and themselves. This is a lifestyle choice I make an effort in 2020. I believe there are many benefits because it’s an organic and raw way to transfer your knowledge to their growing and curious minds. Rather than let artificial intelligence do most of the work in shaping who they are and will thus become.
I think parents ought to position themselves as the primary resource where children learn from and the primary facilitator to steer them in the “right” direction to the best of our ability. Especially in their young vulnerable years. We want to transfer manners, wisdom and values deep into their roots – it is a scary thought to think if we miss doing this. We can potentially lose them to adapting to everything and anything they are exposed to through technology.
So how can we raise happy unplugged kids?
It’s easier than you can imagine but a little tougher than it sounds. Makes sense?
To simplify – remember these 5 interdependent themes : sunshine, play, mess, values, and simplicity.
Sunshine
This theme is all about the outdoors. Exploring the beautiful wonders around us, speaking about them to our children and having them value nature and the environment. It’s also a great way to ensure kids get enough exercise – especially since childhood obesity has reached an all-time high. I am sure technology has a hand in that. Some activities include: taking them on simple adventures such as walking and exploring ants, taking their bikes for a ride, teaching them how to use their scooters, going to the park or jumping in an outdoor pool.
I like to take my work outside so that I let Surah and Miraj play for hours at a time. It’s a win win for the both of us – I am getting work done and the kids are outdoors. It also helps me because when we get home, I give them bubble bath time. That leads to my next point – PLAY. This also benefits the mama who struggles with picky eaters. It’s a great way to get kicks to work up a monstrous appetite. After some outdoor fun and bubble bath, they sure are hungry for anything. See how you can raise healthy and happy unplugged kids?
Play
What an important thing to do as a child – it’s all they know. Did you know many doctors recommend children should be focused on various forms of play from birth to the age of 6. That means no pressure and no stress should be added to their routines – they should be playing independently and with company. Playing is the best form of education. It gives children opportunity to explore, learn, make mistakes and learn from those mistakes, socialize, learn independence and much more. Being stuck behind a screen takes all the “fun” away from PLAY. Associate the TV with family bonding time where you have a movie night or as an award for 20 minutes. This is teaching them that TV is a not a toy or not a right – it is a privilege and it has limits and most definitely does not replace PLAY TIME.
Mess
Making a mess is a sign of childhood and parenthood. You have little monsters to create the mess and parents to clean up (or teach the little monsters to clean up after themselves). We need to expect that childhood comes with a lot of mess, your home won’t be 100% for a while. Once you accept this, that mess will not bother you as much anymore. Mess in a way is a part of failure and accidents. The juice spilled because it wasn’t poured correctly. Crumbs are all over because they didn’t use a plate. Aren’t these great ways to teach children “HOW TO” do this and that?! I think so. If they don’t fail doing something, how will they learn? Making a mess in a way is how a child makes mistakes fun and exciting.
And let’s talk about germs -it branches off mess. With the advertisement of sanitizing, we are all becoming aware of germs. It makes us obsess over removing them and killing them. Instead of realizing it’s an essential part of growing up and allowing our immune systems fight germs to get stronger.
As a new mom, I will confess I was over obsessing all the germs around my first born – Surah. I sanitized a lot and kept her away from situations that were prone to her getting germs. That sounds ridiculous now but I do advise to do this during flu season – other than that, it’s not a bad idea to let kids explore and catch germs. It helps build their immune system.
My husband Milad always reminds me of how he played as a child back home and that’s the reason why he has a stronger immune system than all of us. I am not sure how true this is but it does make sense. So getting a little germy and messy is an essential part of growing up. Let them interact with many other kids, go to play gyms and other public places and run wild (safely of course). They will learn so much more making a mess and creating wonderful memories than by sticking to the iPad for too long.
Values
This is really important. If you treat the TV or iPad as a regular babysitter, don’t be surprised your children have picked up some not so amazing things. This is not to deny they can learn alot through educational content, but other habits are picked up as well. You want to be mindful and balance how much technology you allow your children – the more limited, the better it is.
Like I mentioned before, you and your partner should be the primary resource of teaching your children values. Use dinnertime or story time to talk about certain values. But before you begin teaching them, you need to be sure of them yourself. Make a list of your core values as a family. Throughout the day, think of creative ways to teach them these values verbally but also by setting an example. Here is how you are shaping their mindset and so when they are out and about to tackle the big world on their own, these are the values that we hope they will stick to.
Simplicity
When I say simple, I mean “less of” something or balance or cherishing the basics in life and recognizing privileges versus rights.
I feel a sense of pride when I see my children enjoying the simple things in life. That is because I don’t over-reward them. I don’t buy them expensive toys ( their most expensive toys are from brand deals for work or from their aunts, uncles and grandparents because I do not spend a lot on toys).
I think the simplest toys are the best not only for our pockets, but also for their imagination. These include open-ended toys where they use their imagination to create something out of a toy that can be used in many ways. How does this tie in with being unplugged? When a new toy is introduced, Surah and Miraj get super excited and indulged. They will play with that toy for hours and days to come. Instead of losing their interest quickly and getting bored easily – because they are so used to plugging in the fast paced stimulation of the TV.
When they are used to living simply and enjoying little things with very limited screen time, they cherish things more without the distraction of technology. When something as simple as eating their favorite snack excites them, then you know you have taught them their privileges over rights.
Technology is fast paced and overly stimulated – it’s busy. It definitely does teach them things, there is not denying that. But have you wondered what too much of that kind of exposure does to children? I notice that when I do give them screen time, they become agitated and less tolerant when screen time is over. Sibling fights and crying over nothing surely follows after. I swear something happens to their brain – call me crazy but I truly believe that. I noticed it every time.
As parents, Milad and I both talked about how to spend on the kids. It is not about having the money or not, but more about how to spend and what we are teaching the kids.
For example, going to the restaurant occasionally. The kids get ready and feel excited that we are eating out. Not only is it healthier to have kids eat homemade food but we are teaching them the value of spending money.
Balance is key. If something is done often or bought without much effort and without a waiting period, children do not get as excited and therefore it’s taken for granted. When the simple things in life are seen as a privilege, they easily recognize the blessings in their lives as they grow up.
These simple actions humble us as a family. And I hope it inspires you, as a parent to be mindful of how technology plays a role in your child’s development. There are many ways to raise your child unplugged – I am a firm believer your child will be happier and healthier.
Side Note: I always get asked about what kind of toys I get for Surah and Miraj. And I’ve answered this a couple of times but I thought to quickly throw this in that most of their toys are ordered off of small ETSY shops or Amazon. I have my favorite picks here, most of them are Montessori inspired.
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Or you can visit our Amazon shop here to see our favorite recommendations – based on age.